one might say we're banned from that church
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
