Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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