I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Panties = found
Randomize
