CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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