Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
