Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
