her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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