Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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