i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
