i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
