We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
