you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
