The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
