i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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