I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
