accomplished twins. life is a go
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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