not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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