your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
