She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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