I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
