Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Even my vagina gasped.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
