69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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