she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
