i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize