Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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