Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
