Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
