R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
