evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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