She went from zero to smokin in five shots
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
