"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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