dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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