so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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