That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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