i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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