I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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