idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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