I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
