he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
