It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
