She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's never too late to be topless.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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