I think im going to throw up on grandma
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
