As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
