Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
