The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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