I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wish you could order shots online.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
this will be a night to untag.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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