he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
