Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
