My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
