There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
