those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
