i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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