he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
