Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I did not marry a roomba.
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