Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
the night ended with taco bell and tears
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
