She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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