are you still at the devil's house?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it's like heaven, but drunker
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
