She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
