I heard we made out
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
