I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Let the clothes fall where they may.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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