Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
